Psychotherapy & Counselling -
|19th August 2017|
Counsellor, Consultant, PsychotherapistHi, and thanks for checking out my site. I provide:
Addiction Counselling London
Addiction Counselling Manchester
This page will tell you about me and my work and how to get in touch if you want to schedule an appointment or find out more. The next page, "About Psychotherapy," will tell you about the techniques that I use including my own Attachment Centered Therapy. "Qualifications," the third page, is my vita, as it does seem appropriate to let you know what my training and experience has been. Finally comes "Frequently Asked Questions" which is information that I thought many of you might want to know. Again, thanks for checking out my site, and let me know if I can help you.
I am a member of the UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) and certified by them as an Integrative Psychotherapist through the Metanoia Institute. Please see the qualifications page for a full listing of training, qualifications, and experience.
I providing counselling, consulting, and psychotherapy services for addictions, co-dependency, relationships, family of origin, issues of trauma, abuse or neglect, developmental and personality problems, lifestyle development, personal growth and development and other life issues.
Please feel free to contact me if you would like more information or to arrange an appointment.
Below my 'It's all a question of balance' picture you will find:
Healing the Broken Bond: how attachment centred therapy heals attachment wounds.
Below you will find the next installment, from Chapter 1.
Here are some sayings for you to help correct errors of information processing:
Since you are here, you probably have an interest in attachment and what it is about. There are 3 basic strategies, A, B, and C, that, in broad terms, determine how you relate to those closest to you.
A’s tend to deny their own needs and feelings and are pre-occupied with meeting the needs of others. They rely primarily on facts in processing information, to the exclusion of emotional information, particularly negative emotions.
C’s tend to dismiss the needs and feelings of others and are pre-occupied with their own. They rely primarily on their own emotional state in processing information.
B’s use a balance of both facts and feelings in processing information about relationships.
I have created 3 sayings, one for each category, that are designed to help them to reprogram, except for the B’s who don’t really need much help and rarely show up in a therapy office.
For A’s: Logically, it makes sense to be more emotional.
For C’s: Emotionally, it feels good to be more logical.
For B’s: I am comfortable using both facts and feelings in making choices in relationships.
Areas of Specialization
More about the services I providePsychotherapy Manchester
Addiction Counselling London
Addiction Counselling Manchester
Chemical DependencyAddiction Counselling London
Addiction Counselling Manchester
I have worked in addiction treatment since 1988. I began my treatment experience working with chemical addictions, such as alcoholism, cocaine, marijuana, narcotics, prescription drugs and other drugs of addiction.
I have extensive training and experience in treating these problems, and I served on the board of directors of the Alabama Alcohol and Drug Abuse Association.
I have in the past been certified as a Masters Level Addiction Professional, a Certified Criminal Justice Addictions Professional, and I was certified by the International Counseling and Reciprocity Consortium.
These certifications are not current, as I found that I just had too many certifications to keep up with them all, especially now that I am concentrating my work and training in Attachment.
Sexual Addiction CounsellingAddiction Counselling London; Addiction Counselling Manchester
Next I moved into treating sexual addiction in 1992 when I entered private practice. I also treat relationship or romance addiction (sometimes referred to as "love addiction").
I have trained extensively with Dr. Patrick Carnes, acknowledged by many to be the leading researcher and writer in the field of sex and relationship addiction. I was a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and a supervisor for counselors seeking certification.
I also served on the Advisory Board for Certified Sex Addiction Therapists, and am a past board member of the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (now known as the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health).
Relationship, Couples and Marriage and Family PsychotherapyPsychotherapy Manchester
We have long known that addiction is a family illness. Most people who develop problems with addictions come from families where addiction or co-addiction is present. In addition, the addiction has a grave impact on families where it is present.
It quickly became apparent to me that a knowledge of family dynamics and the best skills available for couples and family work were an important part of the recovery process. Many relationships survive the addiction only to fall apart during recovery.
I have trained with Dr. John Gottmann, the leading researcher in the U.S. in the field of marriage, relationship, and family counselling. I have worked with several systemic family therapy supervisors and participated in a systemic family therapy supervision group with Dr Don Brown in Birmingham Alabama for about 5 years. Thus my couples and family work is informed by Systemic Family Therapy.
In addition to doing therapy with addicts and their relations in recovery, I also provide marriage and family and couples counselling to others who do not have problems with addictions.
Co-dependency counsellingAddiction counselling London
Addiction counselling Manchester
Many people who grow up in dysfunctional or addictive families become what we call "co-dependent". That is, they are excessively dependent on others for their own sense of self worth, or they compulsively caretake others, often getting into dysfunctional relationships that either they can't get out of, or if they do, they soon find another dysfunctional relationship to take it's place.
Because much of my work is done with people in later stage recovery when co-dependency issues begin to emerge, this field became a natural outgrowth of the other work that I do.
Eating Disorders & Body Dysmorphic DisorderPsychotherapy Manchester
While I have never trained specifically to treat these disorders, which often co-occur, I have often encountered them in my practice. My approach is psychotherapeutic because I believe that these are symptoms of attachment difficulties.
Attachment Centred TherapyPsychotherapy Manchester
These days my work is centred on attachment. The reason for this is that I believe there is convincing evidence that almost all of the above problems stem from disruptions in attachment in childhood, and sometimes later years. For this reason I have undertaken to educate myself regarding attachment. To that end I have read hundreds of articles and books about attachment theory and research. I'm even working on a book of my own about it.
I have trained with Dr. Patricia Crittenden, who was trained by Mary Ainsworth, who was trained by John Bowlby, the originator of Attachment Theory. Dr. Crittenden has created the Dynamic Maturational Method of attachment analysis. You may visit her website to learn more about this.
I use the Adult Attachment Interview as a way to get started in therapy. This assessment provides a dynamic and revealing way to quickly identify what went wrong and why, and also immediately begins to provide the healing necessary to fix it.
Healing the Broken BondThe Past, Experience
Chapter 1: In the Beginning: John Bowlby
In the beginning, John Bowlby created attachment theory. Today Bowlby is revered in certain circles with near God-like status for having formulated a theory of attachment that has been shown by experience and research to be right on point, and promises to transform how we view ourselves. Unlike in Genesis, however, Bowlby didn’t create attachment. That has been there all along, for our purposes, ever since evolution discovered that offspring having a caregiver to help protect and feed them and show them something of how the world works has survival advantage. Some fish, amphibians, and reptiles have rudimentary forms of caring for offspring. Birds have a well-developed caregiving strategy, as penguins demonstrate when we watch them waddle back and forth across the Antarctic waste to feed their young. By the time we reach mammals it is going full swing, and with us humans, we have it in abundance. I throw this in because Bowlby, in formulating attachment theory, used ethology as a firm basis for how we seek attachment from our caregivers.
Like gravity and electromagnetism and chemistry, attachment has been there all along, operating quietly and without fail in the background. What Bowlby did was provide a theory of how attachment works, just as Newton and Maxwell and Mendeleev did for gravity and electromagnetism and chemistry. To be fair, none of these great scientists formulated their theories ab initio, but rather built on the observations and theoretical formulations of others in proposing their theories, which were then researched, observations made, and conclusions drawn by others to confirm, extend, and further refine these theories. These major shifts in how we understand the world and how it functions have, we can safely say, revolutionized how we perceive our world, how we conceive it functioning, and how we use this advancing information to improve our lives: our chances of survival, how we deal with challenges that face us, and how we nurture ourselves and others by making improvements in our quality and enjoyment of life.
And yet this transformation of our physical world, and the overwhelming abundance that it has provided us, the comforts, luxuries, and, indeed, splendours of this brave new world, are not shared equally by all. Our emotional selves have been left languishing as the physical realm has advanced abundantly, I suppose because we have a mistaken belief that by achieving a certain degree of physical wellbeing, emotional wellbeing will automatically follow. It hasn’t.
And not only that, the physical means necessary to support life are still denied to some, and to many more a level of survival sufficient to allow life to be lived without worry or concern for physical wellbeing or survival still eludes them. Add to that, many who have the wherewithal to live relatively comfortable lives physically are still suffering in the grips of concepts and feelings and perceptions of the world that create needless misery and suffering. Wars and strife and violence grip many parts of the world. Catholics and Protestants hate, fight, and kill one another, as do Sunnis and Shiites, Muslims and Jews, Communists and Capitalists. And all in the name of what? Religion? Economics? Status? Ideology? It is all insane, and it is the premise of this book that these striven conflicts exist, not because of the beliefs themselves, but because of the emotional damage of insecure attachment, which results in distorted information programming, which manifests itself in those five core areas of how we relate to ourselves, how we relate to others, our model of how the world works, how we operate within that world given the previous three, and how we use this operational process to attempt to nurture ourselves and others. I believe that attachment theory and its subsequent methods and changes in world view can provide a solution to these problems if we will let it.
As with these other paradigms, attachment theory has given us a paradigm shift in which we are currently engaged. That is what this book is about.
And it Came to Pass: Mary Ainsworth
John Bowlby’s primary disciple was Mary Ainsworth. She proved with practical research that Bowlby’s theory is correct. What Mary Ainsworth gave us are the A, B, and C categories of attachment, and a description of each and how they function in interaction with the caregiver. She also described very accurately the kind of caregiving that creates each category. This has all been well researched and validated. What is not so clear are the many variables along the way, and the interaction of the alternative caregivers and how their relating affects the child. More longitudinal research will give us the answers to those questions someday, we hope.
Mary Ainsworth originated the A, B, C model of attachment. The A’s were the ones who, in the SSP, suppressed negative feelings and did not show upset at their mothers’ departures, nor did they seem to take note of when she returned. The did not seem to need reassurance or calming. They did not interrupt their playing. The B’s were the ones who protested mightily when mom departed and were visibly upset, who greeted mom immediately on her return, and who then sought reassurance and soothing, were easily calmed, and returned to play. The C’s protested as did the B’s and also ran to mom, but when they got there and had reconnected with mom, they continued to protest in various ways and had difficulty being soothed and returning to play. That much is firmly established and has stood the test of time.
|©2017 Charley Shults — powered by WebHealer|